Me. A rainbow hunter. Imagine that. With a bow and some arrows. Ok, don't think about it.
Chinese New Year is amazing. For me, this year is just like many other years before. But, this year, it is a bit special. I gambled. Haha. From RM4 to RM7. Won RM3. Crazy. Laughed without any limit. Fun. I played chess with my cousins. Awesome. Even created a new way of playing chess. Four players chess. Really enjoyed it. Angpows, although not as many as last year, I don't care!
What makes CNY different this year is perhaps, it's because I'm more matured than I was before. CNY is all about family relationship, luck, red, money and having fun. Those.. are what CNY is really for. I'm grateful to have great family. Wihtout you guys, I wouldn't know the fun of having CNY.
I'm now trying as hard as ever to think positively. But everytime, I watched others' joy. They just hurt me. I don't know. I feel I'm so useless. I'm not strong enough to face all these. It's just.. I don't know what to say. I know, I KNOW. I have to be strong, stay fighting. Slap my face! I don't want to face the reality. I want to be happy all the time, but I can't. Oh, I don't want to be left out.
Every deep breath I take, to push away all those sadness. Every time I look up, just to convince myself that life is not that awful. Hunting for rainbow isn't an easy job. Have to endure the rain and sun. Pray, is the last way. Hopefully, it will work. My hunt for rainbow.. will accomplish.