Jan 17, 2016

KY Week 1: Things I've Learnt

It has been an entirely tiring induction week. Woke up early, slept late. Little breaks. Long walks. Lack of appetite. Punishments. Weak Wi-Fi. New names. Same names. New rules. New abbreviations (ex. SC, SS, MusCom, RC, MPH, DH, GH etc). People who don't know what Permata is. And the list goes on. Too much to say.

The last session of the induction week was ended with speeches from President and an ex-President from batch 7.0 and their speeches were about, 'you will never find another place where you can trust anyone. It's a completely different place, where you will find your family, where your heart belongs in, where this is your home etc'. They didn't exactly say that as what I typed but the main point was that KY is supposed to be a very special place; you can't find the 'warmth' elsewhere.

However, I believe I've found the 'warmth' much earlier, and at somewhere else.

And it is Permata. That night, I wondered throughout the whole speeches. I wondered, "what if you enter Permata? Will you have said that? Or would you have said differently?" I know so many Permata students who will always have Permata in their hearts, it's always etched in our hearts. Nothing can replace it. But that doesn't mean KY can't be in my heart. KY can always be in my heart, alongside Permata. But KY will never be the only place in my heart because I know I've also found home in Permata.

Permata. A place where people from scattered parts of the nation and different social ranks and family backgrounds are chucked into a small, united place in a jungle through stages of IQ tests. We are supposed to be the 'gifted' students; true or not, I don't know. What matters more is, we all somehow clicked. We somehow finally found people who share the same spark. We somehow finally found a place we can express our souls.

At least for me, I know I can't find that somewhere else. At least for the mean time, that is why the title of this post is KY Week 1. Because it's just the first week. And yeah, I'm talking about what I learnt from the first week.

Next, I've also learnt that yeah, I always end up being lonely. No matter where, I always end up walking alone. But in Permata or in KY or even anywhere, I don't feel it's a problem. But to others, I seem to be a sad loner. Honestly, I wouldn't find it sad at all if I don't have to talk or listen to superficial, small talks or gossips or stuffs that do not matter. It's nicer to breathe in, breathe out, watch the scenery, think but man, it's weird to do it here because people think I'm a loner with no friends or life! If you talk something useful, of course I'll talk back to you. But if you're talking nonsense, of course I wouldn't bother you. If I have not so much friends here I don't mind, as long as the few friends I made are worth it. But I believe as time passes, many will learn to understand.

I find myself hard to find someone with the same heart and mind here and I feel low. The old feeling haunts back. As how lonely as it is, I am used to it. Well this is me. Why do I need to change? I do need to improve myself but not change to be a completely different person. But when I find someone who is lonelier than me and has to fake herself just to fit in, I feel like, "man, that's sad. You don't have to change to make friends, you know." And so it just hit me that I need to help her and pull her to the right side that it is damn okay to be yourself. So the lesson here is, even though you think you're going down, it doesn't mean you don't have to help people who are way down than you. Just, help. As much as you can. This reminds me of my group facilitator who said he is willing to do anything just to make others happy. Great senior.

And so, another thing I've learnt. Making friends with seniors is easier and is more enlightening. Talking to them is always satisfying and intellectual, someway and somehow. Also, shout out to Izzat and Azfar, my Permata-mates aka Prodigies 1314 aka seniors 18.0 who are very supportive and talks with them just make me feel like home again (as in Permata). Through them and also the induction week I've known a few other people, guys especially. YK brothers and sisters are all very nice too. Quite close with the YK boys, they're damn funny man. Approved by YK girls. I have more guy friends than girl friends, no offense girls. I'm not a girl anyway. *smirks* lol

So this long post is about...?

It's about KY going to be one of the places I'll find the 'warmth' soon. It won't be easy at first, but with the support I have, I have no worries.

P/S: Can't wait for all the activities coming soon and yeah, A Levels!!! Bring it on!


Athirah said...

Take care, May. I miss you loads!

Wee Soo May said...

Hanis! I miss you too, a lot!! And thank you for the support, really aprreciate it :)